


Meant To Be

by what_should_i_post_here



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, Infatuation, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Experimentation, Turtlecest, Young Love, tcest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:47:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_should_i_post_here/pseuds/what_should_i_post_here
Summary: What starts as experimentation soon turns to love for Leo and Donnie. But when April enters the picture, will Leo be left out in the cold?*~Universal TMNT Fanfiction Competition 2017Winner(Mature Ballot): Sexiest Donatello -3rd Place~*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Stuff to know:  
> •Two-shot story (possibly a three-shot)  
> •Written in Leo's POV  
> •Takes place in the 2012 universe. Touches base on some canon storylines from season 1/season 2  
> •Turtles ages go by the order they were shown being mutated in the first episode: Leo, Donnie, Mikey, Raph
> 
> Other stuff:  
> I thought up this idea while rewatching the first two episodes a week or so ago. There was a kind of closeness with Leo and Donnie that you don't see very much of in the other episodes.
> 
> Plus, the way Leo gets annoyed with Donnie's infatuation with April. You know it's just cause he doesn't want Donnie doing anything stupid, but I, of course, imagine it's jealousy :P
> 
> Leo may seem a little OOC and I'm sorry for that, but it's kinda my headcanon that Leo is naïve when it comes to anything sex related.

Puberty. It hit me harder than I would have expected. And much sooner than I would have liked, considering I like to plan things _way_ in advance.

But I never even thought about planning for this, so I wasn't really prepared, either way.

It didn't happen abruptly. It started out pretty simple, actually. I was the oldest of all my brothers, in a way, as I was mutated first, so naturally it hit me first.

Voice change, height change... Those were all pretty mild next to what came next. I woke up one night, or I guess it was early morning, from a dream. I can't remember who or what the dream was about, just that it was of the... sexual nature.

I got up to use the bathroom, maybe splash some water on my face, when I felt something hard between my legs. My penis, out of the confides of my shell, half hard.

Now being 14, I was well aware what this was, why it had happened, it just never really happened to me before, so again... Unprepared.

My trip to the bathroom seemed less likely now, with this thing swinging between my legs, so I wrapped a hand around it and began to...massage it, in a way.

Big mistake. It only increased in size and left me a little breathless. I quickly removed my hand, sat back in bed and decided to wait. I tried mediating. To think about anything besides what was happening to my body at that moment.

It took almost an hour before it...deflated enough for me to tuck it back in my shell. By this time, though, I was wide awake. No hope of going to bed anytime soon.

It must have been at least 3am by then, so I decided to head to the kitchen for some tea, hoping that would put my mind (and body) to rest, when I noticed a light coming from a cracked open door down the hall.

Donnie's lab. 

It was a couple years ago when Donnie had asked Master Splinter for a room that he could use to tinker in. A place he wouldn't be bothered or interrupted.

Master Splinter accepted this as long as Donatello promised it wouldn't keep him from his training. And Donnie kept this promise...for a few months, anyway. After that, it took the effort of the rest of us to get him to practice sessions on time.

It wasn't that surprising to see Donnie was still awake. By the age of 12, Donnie had already become obsessed with coffee and drank it so often that his body could almost function without sleep.

Master Splinter would often warn Donnie of the downsides to coffee. Those being bad teeth (as if mutant turtles even cared about this) and stunted growth, which clearly didn't affect Donnie, as by the age of 13, he had already towered over all four of us.

Suddenly, the idea of going to Donnie for help seemed more appealing than drinking tea and trying to forget about it. My cock strained against the inside of my shell and I could already tell that wasn't really going to work, anyway.

Besides the fact that Donnie was big on research - curious as he was, he insisted Master Splinter give us all "the talk" when we were 12 - I felt more comfortable going to him about this than anyone else.

Though we were all technically "born" at the same time, Donnie was mutated right after me, making him the second oldest. Because of this, growing up, we were always pretty close.

So going to him, even for such an embarrassing matter didn't seem so bad. Donnie would know what to do. He always did.

I walked toward my brother's lab carefully. I tried knocking, but naturally there was no answer. Donnie rarely ever heard when we tried to knock, so as long as the door was open, we knew it was alright if we came in.

"Donnie?" I called out, walking inside. The door shut behind me as I walked further inside. "Don?"

Suddenly, a body sprang up from behind the desk. "Hey, Leo. You're up early."

"I could say the same thing to you."

He smiled. "Fair enough. What's up?" He glanced at me for a moment before returning to some half-made machine in front of him.

"I..." I felt my face burn, trying to use my words carefully. "I have a problem."

My hesitance seemed to finally captivate Donnie's full attention. "What's wrong?"

"I had a dream," I started. "And when I woke up... I had a..." My face felt like it was on fire.

Donnie cocked an eye ridge, trying to figure out what I meant. Finally, his eyes moved downward and shot open, obviously noticing my still very much there bulge. "Oh!" He moved out from the desk and came closer to me. "And you've tried... Relieving yourself?"

I chuckled nervously. "I...I tried, but it made me... uncomfortable."

"Oh." Donnie tried to look sympathetic. "Well, there's not much you can do if you won't touch yourself, Leo."

I felt like my cheeks were going to burn off.

"Unless," He began and I looked up desperately. "Unless you'd like _me_ to help."

"That's why I'm here," I tried. "I was hoping you could tell me-"

"No," He interrupted. "Help as in... relieve you... myself."

"You mean like...?"

He was staring at my bulge then and I swallowed hard when I felt it twitch under his scrutiny.

"I'm ah," I started. "I'm not too familiar with how the average family works, but I don't think that's something brothers are allowed do together."

"Just think of it as an experiment," Donnie said. His voice was all business, but his eyes were full of curiosity. "And if it makes you too uncomfortable, we'll stop."

I bit my lip. My head said no, but my body screamed yes. My cock gave another involuntary twitch inside my shell and I couldn't help but nod.

Donnie smiled and came closer to me. "This will feel good, I promise." He sounded pretty confident and I couldn't help but wonder how many times he had done this to himself.

My brother coaxed me out of my shell by rubbing small circles over my slit. It took maybe three strokes before I had already dropped down into his hand. He sighed and wrapped his hand around me, causing me to hiss.

"You're really hard," He commented breezily, as if he were talking about something casual like the weather or what was for dinner tonight. "How did you even manage to tuck yourself back in?"

I let out a breathy laugh and shook my head, unsure how to answer him. Not that I could, anyway. The way his hand was moving over me now, words seemed impossible at the moment.

We both used our hands on each other that night. Just on our members, no where else. First him with me, then me with him. He hadn't asked me, too, but after he relieved me and I noticed he had dropped out of his shell, it was the honorable part of me that wanted to help him out, too.

I slept remarkably well that night. The next morning, however, what I had done seemed to hit me hard.

Donnie seemed fine, but anytime I passed him by the next day, I felt utterly embarrassed. There was no talk from him about what we had done the previous night, so I tried my best to forget.

It was an experiment, as Donnie had said. Nothing more. Just one brother helping another brother.

I lasted almost a whole week before the problem arised again. I tried to use my hands on myself, but it still felt too awkward, so I went to Donnie again.

I didn't bother tucking myself in this time. Not wanting to have to wait any longer than I had to, I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for Donnie's lab.

As soon as he saw my appearance, he grinned. "I figured you'd be back."

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I tried to, you know, but I couldn't-"

"It's okay, Leo," He said, moving away from his desk. "You don't need to explain yourself."

My eyes watched his every movement, my cock eagerly twitching from beneath the cloth.

"I wanted to try something different, if that's alright?"

"Another experiment?" I gulped, when Donnie carefully peeled the towel away.

"Yes, that's right," He smiled, wrapping his hand carefully around me. I sighed, as the built up pressure already seemed to dissipate.

He stroked me a couple times and I closed my eyes, giving in to the pleasure. I heard Donnie move and opened my eyes a moment to watch him as he sunk down onto his knees in front of me.

I didn't think to question him, nor could I when his hand moved up and down my length again, turning my brain to mush. This went on for a couple more minutes, when suddenly, I felt something new, _strange_. Something warm and wet was now on the tip of my penis and I forced my eyes open to identify it.

Donnie's mouth! Donnie's lips were wrapped around just the head of my member.

"W-what are you doing?" I breathed out.

"Sorry," He said, as he pulled off, his hand continuing to stroke me. "I suppose I should have asked first. Did it not feel good?"

On the contrary, it felt _amazing_. But it shouldn't have, right? For someone to put their mouth on something that private? Something that up until I was forced to have "the talk" with my father had thought was only used to go number one?

"N-no, it felt good. Very good," I stuttered. "I just wasn't expecting..."

Donnie smiled. "I should have warned you." Then his mouth positioned itself again, his breath hot against the tip. "Is it alright if I try again?"

I nodded, almost desperately, and forced my eyes open to watch him. He carefully wrapped his lips around me and suckled again, his tongue lapping around.

I sucked in a deep breath and threw my head back. Donnie must have felt encouraged by this, as I felt the warmth of his mouth take in more of my length.

His teeth gently grazed the skin of my cock as he pulled back to breath, then dove back in. At one point, I felt him wrap his lips tightly around me and suck hard, as if it were a straw and he was attempting to taste the remainder of a very thick milkshake through it.

I felt a rumble pass through my body and a high-pitched noise I had never heard before passed my lips.

Donnie pulled himself off my cock then and chuckled. "Finally! You know, I was beginning to think you couldn't do that. You hardly made any noise the first time."

"What...what was that?"

"A churr," He smiled. "Turtles make the sound when they're feeling...aroused."

Something in his voice, in the way he was looking at me right then made me say my next words. "Bet you can't get me to do it again," I teased.

Donnie grinned slyly and wrapped his mouth around me once more. It only took a couple more minutes before I felt the pressure of what was to come.

I gave Donnie warning, but he didn't seem to hear me as he continued to suck. So I tried pulling him away, my hands on the side of his face and gently pushing, but Donnie stayed firm.

He pressed the flat of his tongue against the underside of my cock and squeezed his lips tightly around me and that's when I lost it. I came right into his mouth and was shocked when I saw him stay firmly attached, his throat moving as he appeared to be drinking it down.

When I was finally finished, Donnie pulled away and I fell onto my knees. I watched in awe as Donnie licked his lips, ultimately licking the remains of my climax into his mouth.

"How does it taste?" I asked, curiously.

"Kinda bitter," He remarked, again in that casual tone, as if we were talking about something completely normal. "But not bad. You actually taste a lot better than I do."

"You've tasted yourself before?"

He smiled, not a hint of shame. "I'm a very curious turtle."

I felt my face flush slightly, then noticed Donnie's dick slightly peeking out of his shell. "I want to try."

He followed my gaze. "You don't have to, Leo. I can take care of myself."

"Please? I want to."

Donnie was hesitant, but he agreed. I followed everything he had done, from licking to full on sucking till he finally came. Unfortunately, I wasn't fully prepared for how much there was going to be and ended up pulling back, more ending up on my face and neck than actually in my mouth.

The taste was just as Donnie had said. Bitter, but not bad. Getting him off made me hard again and Donnie gave me a simple handjob before we both turned in for the night.

Over the next couple of weeks, anytime I woke up with a hard on in the middle of the night, I went to Donnie's lab and we took care of each other with either our hands or our mouths.

One particular night, however, as I was just getting ready for bed, Donnie popped into my room and locked the door. This was new to me.

Whenever we did something together, it was always in his lab. The thought of doing what we did in a bedroom made me extremely uncomfortable.

"Donnie, hi," I began, my hands frozen on the kneepad I was in the middle of removing before he came in. "What are you-"

"I want to try something different tonight," He said. He looked more nervous than he usually did.

"Oh, but I'm not really feeling-"

Donnie interrupted me by rubbing his hand against my slit. His touch, now very familiar to me, had me hardening within an instant. He grinned and I flushed.

"Please?"

Again, the overwhelming uncomfortableness settled in as he sat down beside me, but I felt myself nodding. His hand went over mine as he finished removing the kneepad I had yet to take off.

He finished removing the rest of my "clothes" for me, mask included, before stripping himself.

He looked at me then, and even in my dim room, I noticed the slight blush across his cheeks. "Close your eyes," He commanded lightly. "Don't move."

I did as I was told and waited. After what seemed like several minutes, I felt a sudden pressure against my lips.

My eyes shot open, taking in Donnie's face close to mine. Donnie was kissing me! _My brother_ was _kissing_ me!

This seemed terribly innocent compared to the things we had done in the lab, but the fact that we were on my bed made it seem much more erotic than anything we had done before.

I closed my eyes again, but before I had a chance to kiss back, Donnie pulled away.

My eyes looked at him, questionably.

"That was good," He said, leaning towards me again. "But this time, I want you to open your mouth."

This seemed strange to me. I wasn't familiar with kissing, but from what I had seen on certain cartoons we watched, it appeared kissing was simply lips touching.

"I'll tell you when," He said, his hand on my cheek. I nodded nervously and he pressed his beak to mine once again.

It was the same as before, only this time, Donnie angled his mouth while it was still against mine, and suddenly I felt something warm and wet slide against my lips.

Donnie's tongue. I wasn't sure how to react to that, but I assumed that was my cue to open my mouth. As soon as I did, his tongue slipped inside my mouth and touched mine.

The feeling was almost electrifying and seemed to radiate from the top of my head down to my toes.

I still had no idea what I was doing, but I tried mirroring his actions, and when he moaned at one point, I realized I must have been doing something right.

When we finally broke apart, we were breathless.

"Was that the... different thing... you wanted to try?" I asked, between breaths.

"No, I have something else in mind," He smiled. "I've just been wanting to do that for a while now."

I cocked an eye ridge. "What did you want to try then?"

He grinned slyly, pushing me onto my carapace and climbing on top of me. "You remember the talk we had with sensei? About making babies?"

I blushed. "Yes."

"What do you remember, exactly?"

My face turned beet red. I hated that talk. Just thinking about it made me uncomfortable. "He said when a man and woman love each other-"

"Exactly," Donnie interrupted. "'Man and woman'. Well, I've been researching and it doesn't have to just be between a boy and a girl. Two boys can do it, too."

"Okay, but what does-"

"I want to do it, Leo," Donnie interrupted again, leaning down to press our foreheads together. "With you."

My eyes boggled. "What?"

"Don't be afraid," He begged, grabbing my hand in his. "I'll walk you through it. And it'll feel good, I promise."

I bit my lip. He had made the same promise the first time I came to him with my problem just a few weeks before. And he was right. It _had_ felt good. _Very good_. I trusted him then and there was no doubt in my trusting him now.

"Okay."

He squealed and kissed me again. "Okay, so normally you have to prep for this, but I already prepped myself, so I'm going to bottom tonight. And don't worry, I will not pressure you into bottoming until you're ready."

I blinked at his words, not really sure about anything he had just said.

Donnie laughed at my expression. "I'll explain everything later. But right now, I need you." He emphasized his point by rubbing my slit. Again, his touch had an instant effect on me and I dropped right down.

Donnie's hand was a blur on my cock as he brought me to full hardness. When he seemed satisfied, he stopped to look at me. "Ready?"

 _No._ "Yes," I said, a bit breathlessly.

I watched in awe as Donnie then raised himself and then lowered his backside onto my member. He hissed in pain as he tried to fit me inside him.

I felt utterly useless, trying to find a way to distract him from the hopefully brief pain he was putting himself through. I grabbed the only thing I could reach in my position, his hand, and brought it to my face, gently kissing the inside of his palm.

It was a simple gesture, really, but it seemed to work as Donnie let out a low moan and relaxed. I immediately felt the warmth of Donnie's insides wrap around my cock.

The feeling, the pressure, SO much better than his hand or mouth. Donnie continued to lower himself onto me until I was completing sheathed inside him.

"Don't move," He begged, through gritted teeth. He was still in pain. I felt horrible experiencing pleasure when he clearly was not. I kissed his palm again, then his fingers. Each one, from base to tip.

Donnie breathed out and then he was moving. And shell, it felt even more amazing than before. His inner walls seemed to hug me as he bounced up and down on my cock.

The pressure was already becoming too much on my young, virgin body and I made a note to tell Donnie so.

Quickly, my brother removed himself and laid down beside me. I gave a slight whimper at the loss and questioned him only with my eyes.

He smiled. "If you're gonna top, you should be on top."

His words made me nervous. After all, I had no idea what I was doing. But I urged myself forward, getting up and turning so I was hovering over him.

He placed his hands on my upper arms, giving a slight squeeze in encouragement. I wasted no time in plunging back into his comfortable heat.

I thrust in hard, but carefully, then pulled out and back in. Repeating the action, each thrust harder and faster than the last.

Donnie churred in reply to each of my movements and I replied to each of his churrs with ones of my own.

At one point, I must have struck something important and very sensitive, because Donnie seemed to freeze up and his high-pitched churrs turned into deep moans.

I loved hearing that sound come from him, as well as the expression on his face when he made them. I took care to remember exactly where I struck and thrust at that angle repeatedly.

After the third or fourth strike, Donnie came all over the front of his plastron, as well as mine.

The inner walls of his backside seemed to put my cock in a death grip. But as wonderful as that sensation was, it wasn't what made me lose it.

No, it was Donnie, crying out in the midst of his climax, "Leo, I love you" that sent me over the edge, spilling my seed into my slightly younger brother.

And when I finally regained my breath and pulled out to lie down next to him that night, I realized I loved him, too. As so much more than a brother.

I held onto him tight. I had never been more happy in my entire young life then at that very moment.

It was to be short lived, however. Because in just a few days, on our 15th "birthday", everything would change.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's been OVER A YEAR since I updated this. Here's hoping it doesn't take me another year to finish this story altogether heh

I'm not really sure what I expected on my first day out of the sewers.

It's not that I wasn't excited. Me and my brothers had dreamt about this day our entire lives and often concocted crazy scenarios we might encounter on our first day out. But after what happened between me and Donnie just days before, it all seemed kinda... second rate.

It was exciting, sure, but if that ended up being our only day up on the surface, I'm sure I could have lived with that.

After we scoured the city for a few hours, we were just about to head back when Donnie spoke up.

"Guys, look at that!"

I quickly spun around to focus on what he was pointing at. Humans. I found this strange. Sure, humans were new to us, but to be fair, we had already run into one earlier that night.

I looked closer. It was a man and a woman. No, not a woman. A _girl_ who looked to be about our age.

"She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

I turned to look back at my brother, my _more than_ brother, as of just a few days ago. His eyes were unblinking, locked on her, and I could almost imagine the cartoon-y hearts floating above his head.

It made me sick. It felt as though my heart had dropped into my stomach. I vaguely heard Raph joke about her being the only girl Donnie has ever seen and Mikey chuckled at the comment, but I was too frozen to attempt any sort of response myself.

Just when I regained most of my senses, I planned on grabbing Donnie's arm and dragging him out of there when-

"She's in trouble!"

I turned to find Donnie jumping down to save the girl and Raph and Mikey following suite.

I groaned. "Splinter said not to..." But by then it was too late.

I sighed and jumped down. After all, the sooner we saved the girl, the sooner we could go home and never think about this day _ever_ again.

But that's not what happened. The strange clone-like men kidnapped the girl and before I knew it, we were back at the lair asking for Master Splinter to allow us permission to save her.

I tried to hide my jealousy when Donnie spoke of the girl to Master Splinter. He seemed blissfully unaware of my sour attitude on the whole matter.

We managed to save the girl, whose name was April, but her father was unfortunately left behind. Afterwards, we dropped her off back at home and left. But not before promising that we would help April get her father back, thus keeping her as a permanent ally.

That same night, I purposely came to Donnie's lab long after everyone had gone to sleep. For the past month, me showing up at this time of night usually meant I wanted to do more than just talk.

I was certain that wouldn't be happening this time.

"H-hey, Donnie."

Donnie looked up, sporting his gapped tooth smile. "Hey, Leo."

"So...today sure was crazy, huh?" I said as casually as possible, leaning on his desk. He merely responded with a nod, so I continued. "I'm...so glad everything worked out. And uh, April...she seems nice."

"She sure is."

"You... really seem to like her."

Donnie popped up from his work. "I really do." He blushed. "I never thought I would feel like this, Leo. Never thought I _could_...ya know?"

Something in the way he said that seemed to put the past month in a completely different perspective.

Whatever me and Donnie had wasn't what I thought. Maybe he really meant what he said just a few nights ago. Maybe he had loved me before... Or maybe he loved me, he just wasn't _in_ love with me.

After all, we were brothers. We were just experimenting. What we did was simply because we never thought we'd have the chance to do it with anyone else.

But if that was the case, then why did I feel so...broken?

He looked up from his work, his face concerned. "Are you alright, Leo?"

"Who, me?" I chuckled, brushing the very idea off with a wave of my hand. "I-I'm fine. I'm just tired. Couldn't really sleep."

Donnie blinked carefully, his eyes locking on mine. "Anything I can help you with?"

He had said something very similar the first night we ever touched each other. In ways brothers should never touch each other. Ways that made me believe that maybe - _just maybe!_ \- we were more than that.

His tone seemed almost hesitant, like he was well aware what he had just asked, his head also probably drifting off to that first night not too long ago.

"No, no," I shook my head, carefully stepping backwards to the door. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Night, Don."

He gave a soft smile. "Goodnight, Leo."

____________________

Over the next several months, Donnie continued his pursuit of April and April pretended not to notice. As did I.

I wanted to hate her for taking my brother away, but unfortunately April was too nice to hate for too long.

I met a girl myself a little while after saving April. Her name was Karai and she was a kick-ass kunoich.

I wanted to like her the way Donnie liked April. The way _I_ liked Donnie, but it was clear whatever infatuation I might have held with her was more due to her amazing ninjitsu skills and much less an actual head over heels crush.

I spent most of my time training and meditating way more often than my brothers. My family probably assumed my extra time in the dojo was because of my recently acquired position of being the leader, but it was more than that.

It was my only outlet. The easiest distraction to try to rid myself of the feelings I still held for my slightly younger brother, despite everything.

Thankfully, it seemed to work and the only times I really felt the feelings start to build up were the rare moments I spent alone with Donnie.

Unfortunately, since I no longer had Donnie to help me, on the rare occasions I did get aroused, I had to rely on my own hand to relieve myself. And the images I conjured up in my mind to get myself off were always of Donnie.

Things continued that way for a while, till one emotionally crazy night, almost a year after we first went to the surface. We were fighting the Kraang, the aliens who had first captured April that one night, when one accidental move caused dozens of mutagen canisters to fall out of the stealth ship we were battling in and straight into the streets of New York.

It wasn't much later that we found out April's father had been mutated by one of the fallen mutagen cylinders. And after a casual slip-up from Mikey, April blamed us for it and refused to see us ever again.

Needless to say, Donnie took it the hardest. For the first couple weeks, we barely ever saw him outside his lab, except for practice which was never to be missed.

Donnie had been relentless to find a way to cure April's father, and in doing so, he left the lair often to find more supplies.

Normally going topside without a partner was forbidden. A rule made by our father, but enforced by myself.

As his leader, I had every right to enforce it, no matter how he was feeling. But as his former lover, I didn't dare to push it. I may have lost my intimacy with Donnie, but I didn't want him to hate me.

And while I didn't force him to go with anybody when he went out alone, I always stayed up, making sure he made it home safe.

The first couple of times Donnie noticed me, waiting there in the shadows of the lair, he didn't say anything and sulked back to his lab, new found materials in hand.

The third time, he caught my eyes and gave me a brief nod. Both acknowledging my presence and dare I say, thanking me?

This went on for almost a week or so. I always stayed up to wait for him, sleep seeming impossible when I knew he was up there alone, without protection. And for the most part, Donnie always acknowledged my presence, giving me that small nod that seemed to warm my insides.

But then one night...

"Don?" I really didn't want to pry, but when he reached the lair that particular night, he didn't move. Didn't resort to his lab like normal, didn't look my way briefly like normal. He was frozen there, starting blankly at the lair in front of him.

"Donnie!" I exclaimed, throwing myself over the couch and right to his aid. "Donnie, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

I had grabbed his arm in the process of my worrying, carefully looking over his body in the dark room, trying to find anything out of the ordinary.

I felt Donnie's hand place itself over mine. I expected him to brush me off, but his hand lingered there, sending a jolt of electricity through my body.

"I saw her," He said simply. My hands slipped off him, and his followed. Donnie didn't need to be specific with who he was talking about.

"Oh." I said, my voice tight in my throat.

I had convinced myself long ago that whatever happened between me and Donnie was simply due to raging hormones and curiosity. If not for me, at least for him. But over the past few weeks, after receiving no contact from April whatsoever, no matter how many times Donnie tried, a part of me was thoroughly convinced we would never see her again.

And it was the same part of me that thought maybe, just maybe, things could start up between us again.

It was reckless thinking, however. Even if April wanted nothing to do with us ever again, it was clear Donnie would never forget about her.

"She was with...another boy."

"Donnie, I-"

"I don't want to talk about it," He said, then hurried to his lab.

I wanted to go after him. I wanted to help him. I just...wanted to be with him. But I knew nothing I said, or did, would help. And as soon as Donnie's lab door shut, I headed to the my own room.

____________________

After practice the next morning, I spent the rest of the day and night in my room. Knowing what happened yesterday still wouldn't stop Donnie from going out, I left Raph on lookout for his return and kept to the comfort of my bedroom.

It must have been early ( _very_ early) morning when I awoke to the sound of my bedroom doorknob turning. Trained ninja that I was, I sat upright in my bed and tried to peer into the darkness, but the faint light of the outside quickly disappeared as the door creaked shut and I was staring only at black.

"Who's there?"

"Shh..." The voice whispered and I recognized it immediately.

"Donnie...?"

Wait, but why was Donnie there? Was he upset I hadn't waited up for him, as I'd been doing almost every night since he started his late-night scavenges? Was he afraid I didn't care about him? Had Raph left his post while waiting up for him?

"Donnie, listen, I was just-"

I was cut off this time not by his voice, but by his lips pressing against mine. Donnie was _kissing_ me! Did he know he was kissing me? Or did he just get too close? It was pretty dark in there. I thought maybe it was possible that he accidentally hit my mouth while trying to talk but...no, no he definitely meant to because his mouth was pressing pretty hard and then his tongue was dragging purposely against my bottom lip and...

I felt myself shudder and then moan, opening my mouth slightly to give him the access his tongue gently demanded and Donnie chuckled.

That's when I had tasted it. As soon as his tongue met mine, the unmistakable taste of alcohol hit my tastebuds.

I had only tried the strong liquid once when Raph had brought half a case he had found in an alley he found in the sewers. After we each had a couple sips, Master Splinter had caught us, poured the rest down the sink, and grounded us all for a week.

Donnie had been drinking. No, Donnie was _drunk_. Something must have happened between him and April the night before when he saw her with that boy. Something serious. Serious enough for him to resort to alcohol.

But why would he come into my room? My question was answered a second later when Donnie broke our kiss, his lips traveling down my neck.

I squeaked, the feeling of his hot breath wafting over my skin. He was here for one thing and one thing only - sex.

I should have stopped him. He was drunk. He had to be. We hadn't been together this way in over a year. Which led me to believe that he was only here because he wasn't fully aware where he was or what he was doing.

Either that or he was using me as his own outlet. As a way to forget whatever happened last night. To forget how he felt about April.

And yet, as he began sucking on my collarbone, I did nothing to stop him. I didn't want Donnie this way. I wanted him to be with me because _he wanted_ to be. But I was selfish and needy. And if this was the only way I could be with Donatello, then so be it.

I relaxed my body under his, giving myself completely to him. He hummed approvingly above me, his teeth making an appearance as he gently nibbled on my exposed neck.

I moaned, shifting slightly.

"I missed this," He whispered. He leaned forward, his lips just barely touching mine. "I missed the sounds you make."

"Donnie..." I whispered back and he moaned at the sound of my voice. "Donnie, why are you-"

He didn't let me finish, forcing our lips together in a hard kiss. It was clear he didn't want to talk. I should have figured that. I could have tried to continue to speak up, but I didn't want to risk him leaving, so I kept my mouth shut.

"I've been having trouble sleeping," Donnie said, with a hint of a slur. "Can you help me with that?"

I shivered at his words. I figured after meeting April, Donnie had forgotten all about our late-night encounters. What we used to do and how they had started. But it was clear by that sentence alone that some part of him still remembered.

I nodded carefully and I could just make out Donnie's grin in the darkness my eyes were slowly adjusting to. After a quick nip on my beak, he crawled down my body, his mouth directly in front of my already bulging slit.

Then he gave a very long, very purposeful lick, causing me to drop down immediately. As soon as his hand engulfed me, I let out a hiss.

It had been so long, _too long_ , since Donnie last touched me this way, that I could already feel my orgasm approaching quickly and we'd barely started yet.

I forced myself still when Donnie's perfect mouth swallowed the head of my cock. I fisted my sheets tightly as I felt his tongue lap at the sides of my member. He moved far down, almost all the way to the base and then he pulled upwards, his teeth just barely grazing my skin.

I was so concentrated on his movements, I could actually _feel_ where his gap was - the one small space that wasn't sending sparks of pleasurable pain up my painfully hard cock.

When he removed his mouth completely to suck on just the head, I felt my stomach twist. "Donnie, I'm-"

With his free hand, my brother reached up and covered my mouth, forcing me to hold back my words. He knew what I was going to say, but he didn't stop, and with another skillful swallow, I came into his mouth.

I shuddered as Donnie's throat closed around the head of my cock, drinking all that I had to offer. When he finally pulled off, I was a sweaty mess, my racing heartbeat just barely heard over the sound of my excessive panting.

When I finally calmed down, my hands searched for Donnie, ready to return the favor. I made a weak, desperate noise when I couldn't find him and he gave a light chuckle.

"Looking for something?"

"You," I mumbled, attempting to sit up to follow his voice. Donnie's hand stopped me, however, landing squarely on my chest. His fingers traced around my plastron, and he hummed softly.

"Turn over."

My first instinct was to ask why, but I didn't want to scare Donnie off with more questions, so I did as I was told.

Once I was comfortably on my stomach, I felt my bed dip as Donnie got behind me. He gently grabbed at my hips, pulling me up until I was on my hands and knees.

Then with no warning at all, his fingers traced my tail and pulled it upwards. I arched slightly off the bed, a keen churr passing my lips.

Perhaps by instinct, Donnie echoed the noise with a churr of his own and while I concentrated on that sound alone, the tip of his finger dipped into my backside.

I twitched under him. "Donnie what-"

"Shhh..." He whispered. "This'll feel good, I promise."

That seemed to be Donnie's catchphrase when we were together this way. Those words alone seemed to calm me as easily as a hot cup of tea or an hour long meditation session. Immediately, my insides relaxed and the tip of my brother's finger pushed through.

"Very good," Donnie moaned, pulling away for a second. When he returned, I easily distinguished the difference this time. Before his touch had been dry and warm. This time his finger was wet and cold.

It took me a moment before I pieced together what exactly he was doing. He was prepping me. Donnie had mentioned "prepping" the last time we were together this way.

I had been so nervous, yet so eager, that time that I didn't really take those words to heart. What Donnie had meant when he said he had already prepped himself. What that consisted of.

By this time, Donnie's entire finger was inside me. I felt myself twitch, squeezing his finger, keeping him there. Donnie breathed out, pumping his finger gently and I moaned.

I vaguely recalled another set of Donnie's words that night. Promising he would never force me to bottom until I was ready. It was clear he wouldn't be keeping that promise.

I was sure if I spoke up, he would stop, but I didn't want that. I would have preferred to wait, perhaps when Donnie was sober and completely aware of his actions, but the greedy part of me kept quiet. Knowing I may not ever be with him like this again. I needed this. I needed to know what it felt like to bottom for Donnie.

During this inner monologue with myself, my brother seemed to deem me prepped enough and pulled away once again. I could hear a distinct squelching sound and knew that Donnie must have been preparing himself.

I felt the bed shift and suddenly Donnie's hands were on me. He squeezed gently. A silent warning and then he was pushing into me.

I gasped loudly, tugging at the sheets below me and Donnie held still. His hands, still at my hips, rubbed my skin in soothing circles. Then he pushed forward again.

I bit my lip, willing myself to stay quiet. Too afraid that any more sounds of discomfort would make him stop and perhaps leave completely.

Once he was fully inside me, he stopped again, giving me a chance to adjust. The pain started to dissipate, though it was a slow process. Then suddenly, I could feel Donnie leaning down, his plastron pressing against my carapace.

He reached forward and pulled my hand towards him. Then he kissed the back of my hand and then the tips of my fingers. I breathed out and my body relaxed.

I had done something similar our last night together. Kissed Donnie's hand, kissed his fingers, to relieve some of the pain and pressure of him bottoming for the first time.

"Donnie..."

Suddenly, he dropped my hand and pulled halfway out.

My heartbeat quickened. I spoke. I ruined everything. Now he was going to leave and-

Donnie then pushed forward again and I moaned out loud. He gave a slightly breathless laugh and repeated his action.

I moaned again, this time directly into my pillow, attempting to stay quiet. When Donnie pulled out and thrust back in a third time, he struck something that had me seeing stars.

I shuddered beneath him and Donnie moved again. He reached underneath me and wrapped a hand around my spent cock. His touch alone had it harden in seconds and then he began to pump fast and hard.

He kept the pace, thrusting into me as fast as he was pumping. I came then, coating my sheet with my essence. I could feel my insides squeezing around him and after a few more erratic thrusts, Donnie spilled his seed. The warm feeling sent a slight thrill through me and I churred quietly.

I felt him pull out and I held still, awaiting his next move. Instead of leaving, he wrapped his arms around me, spooning me from the outside. He snuggled into the gap between my neck and shoulder, kissing me lightly, then he yawned.

A few minutes later, his breathing regulated and I knew he had fallen asleep. I tried to do the same, but my mind was still reeling. Over-analyzing everything that had just happened.

A small part of me couldn't help but think about why Donnie was here in the first place.

Was it possible I was more than just an outlet? That perhaps Donnie was living out a fantasy of being intimate with April? That would explain the keeping me quiet and the bottoming and even the turning me over during sex.

It didn't explain everything, though. He had still kept his hands on me. Touched my tail, my shell, things April didn't have. He said things, _did_ things only I would understand. Not to mention the very thorough blowjob.

Drunk or not, Donnie had to know what he was doing. That he had done them with _me_. Was it possible Donnie actually missed doing these things together?

I wrapped Donnie's arms further around me, willing myself to sleep.

When I woke up that morning, he was gone. We didn't speak at practice. Anytime I tried to catch his eye, he looked elsewhere. The rest of the day he stayed cooped up in his lab.

By nightfall, I put Raph back on guard duty and hurried to my room, keeping the door cracked open slightly. I waited all night but he never came.

The next day, April returned to us.


End file.
